In case you missed it , I missed last Sunday. Life will sometimes throw you a curve ball, but, not to worry, it wasn’t this bad:
So here is ICYMI:
Starbucks launched this campaign this week but lasted about as long as Howard Dean’s campaign for President. Starbucks CEO, Howard Schultz, ended the barista movement this weekend, but vowed that the “conversation is not over.” Perhaps Howard realized that his overpriced (and bitter) coffee could not be found in the neediest of areas, like Ferguson, where the “hands up don’t shoot” LIE destroyed a town, and a lot of credibility. Or, he quickly realized that his customers didn’t walk into Starbucks for sensitivity training. They just wanted a freaking half double decaffeinated half-caf with soy foam and a twist of lemon.
Let’s Not Race Together
If students and professors at UCI didn’t get their wish last week to ban the American flag on campus, perhaps the oppressed students and professors can name one of their buildings after a Black Panther, cop-killing, female fugitive. The black student organization at UC Berkley–an institution known for housing the insane and perpetuating progressive h8, have made such demands for Assata Shakur, who is presumably residing somewhere in Cuba while on the lam from gunning down a NJ cop. <insert progressive hashtag #StopGunViolence here> They revere Ms. Shakur as an icon and a representation of black students and communities. With murderers for role models, who needs Martin Luther King? They have also demanded a separate black student center. What do we want? Segregation! When do we want it? Now!
Fat Cat Bureaucrats
Michelle Obama, our “self-proclaimed expert” in nutrition and exercise, has now mandated that the USDA weigh your children at Daycare as part of a national study to determine why kids are fat. (free tip: most aren’t eating right–Doritos and sugar are not food groups–or getting enough exercise). If their school lunches, like the ones found in Kentucky, taste like vomit, you can be assured that your kids will be skinny mini’s in no time, although they may not have enough energy to move. Let’s Move? Not.So.Much. I would like start a petition that we, as tax payers, mandate a study on the overweight “public servants” I see waddling around our city, state and federal government entities. Since we pay for their healthcare and their salary, they owe us to stay in tip top shape, no? Have you seen Al Gore lately? His carbon fatprint is pushing maximum density.
Beat Me With A Fake Hockey Stick
Speaking of Big Al….While at the SXSW concert in the progressive enclave of Austin, TX, Al screamed at the stoners in the crowd that climate deniers must be punished! He must have made a really good impression–that, or Hillary is toast, because Democrats are so desperate for
another liar candidate, they are toking on the same pipe and looking at him to make a possible presidential run in 2016.
Get Out The
Obama, while on the never-ending DNC fundraising trail (which started in early in this new century and in Chicago…), and on the same day the Iranian Regime released documents supporting EMP attacks on the US, floated a trial balloon of 100% mandatory voting. No word from him on EMP attacks from the Regime that shouts “Death to America,” but I am sure he will address that soon or never. There doesn’t seem to be a regime that our POTUS doesn’t love. 100% voting works really well in bastions of freedom like North Korea, and according to the last election results, St. Lucie County, FL already blew past that 100 and raised it 42%. Nonetheless, here are sum yung voters who will determine the future direction of our country, and who, by what statistics show, gave us Obama. Just one big happy Choom Gang <inhale> Duuuuuude.
And lastly, as I will always do at the end of ICYMI, and much like in the words of Monty Python, it is now for something completely different.
I Am Woman
I can get behind this kind of Women’s movement. NOW take note. Air Guitar? SOLD.